It’s beginning to look a lot like Christmas… city sidewalks, busy sidewalks, dressed in holiday style… deck the halls… Yes, the hustle and bustle of the festive season is upon us once again.
One of the town’s radio stations has been blaring holiday music for weeks. iPhone Christmas playlists are on repeat.
The pleasant aromas of fruitcakes and mince meat pies drifting from grandma’s house add to the yuletide atmosphere.
Norman Rockwellian scenes appear as woolen-clad youngsters anxiously peer into candy store windows while the tintinnabulation of the Salvation Army Santa bells rings in the background.
Although the times are filled with happiness and joy, many are stricken by a serious condition known as Merry Christmas Season — MCS, the crippler of young adults.
MCS is caused by receiving 10 or more LL Bean catalogs a week before election day and overexposure to large doses of Christmas decorations during Thanksgiving week.
Early diagnosis will rid the population of this dreaded affliction. To combat the spread of MCS, the American Merry Christmas Season Association has issued these four warning signals:
1. Coughing or shortness of breath while running across the store to take advantage of the pre-Black Friday X-Box special. This symptom reveals a decline in the stamina needed to put tinsel on the tree one strand at a time, not in clumps of 10 or more. Although this respiratory ailment may be caused by an allergic reaction to mistletoe or mulled wine, it’s best to get checked out.
2. The presence of a lump in your throat or elsewhere when a Craftsman Max Access Power Wrench, the Personal Pedi, or some other gift advertisement with the personal touch pops up on your Facebook feed. If you can’t resist, hurry out and buy an iPad, or the equivalent. If you don’t have that kind of cash, go on Wheel of Fortune and buy a vowel.
3. An eyesore that does not heal after you have decorated your home with more flashing lights than Caesar’s Palace, hired a troupe of actors to depict the Nativity and enticed reindeer into your yard with salt blocks. To aid the rehabilitation process, have a winter garage sale and sell your house and garage.
4. A change in shopping or mail habits noticed when you’re sending out 500 Christmas cards to take advantage of bulk postage rates. After you buy your plump butterball turkey, did you ask the clerk to wrap it in something suitable for a five-year-old? Chronic signs could be developing.
If any of these warning signs persist more than a week after Veterans Day, see your counselor. MCS strikes 1 out of 3 people. Think of your two closest friends, and if they seem okay, then it must be you!
Remember the American Merry Christmas Association this holiday season, and give early and often to maximize IRS tax benefits.




